We Care (Un)Equally: Who Takes Care of Care?

Ieva: Hello and welcome back to We Care (Un)Equally. This podcast is part of the European Union-funded Caredizo project.

I’m Ieva, and today I’ll be speaking with Jurgita Pečiūrienė, a board member of the Women’s Issues Information Center and a researcher involved in the project.

Jurgita: Hello.

Ieva: Jurgita, thank you for joining us.

As you know, the Caredizo project seeks to draw attention to the unequal distribution of care work between women and men, and to encourage micro-enterprises and non-governmental organisations to introduce innovative measures that promote gender equality.

Research is an important part of this project. Together with researchers from Cyprus, Bulgaria, and Greece, Jurgita carried out three analyses examining the distribution of informal care from a gender perspective, the division of responsibilities within households, and the challenges and needs faced by micro-enterprises and NGOs.

That is what we will be discussing today. But let’s begin with a very simple question. Jurgita, how would you define unpaid care work?

Jurgita: Unpaid care work is essential work for society. It is extremely important work that is carried out without pay and is usually not recorded in economic statistics.

It is most often performed by women, yet its value is enormous for both families and the state. The invisibility and undervaluation of this work are among the key causes of gender inequality.

I would say it is not only unpaid work, but also invisible work.

What does unpaid care work include? It includes various activities through which we care for other people: caring for children, older people, people who are ill, or people with disabilities. It also includes emotional support and all the tasks that keep everyday life functioning.

Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, organising household matters — all of this is part of unpaid care work.

In other words, it is all the work that does not do itself. Whether we live in a family, in a partnership, or alone, someone has to do these tasks.

Ieva: It is certainly difficult to imagine everyday life without this unpaid work. It includes taking care of the household, caring for loved ones, and carrying out countless daily tasks.

When we talk about unpaid work, we increasingly also encounter the term “mental load” — the additional cognitive burden involved. It is not enough simply to carry out household or care tasks. They also have to be planned: someone has to remember what needs to be done, make the shopping list, register a child for a doctor’s appointment, and take care of countless other details.

That is why the category of unpaid and invisible work includes far more activities than we often realise.

Speaking about the situation in Lithuania, how are care responsibilities currently divided between women and men? After all, this was one of the main topics of your analyses.

Jurgita: First, it should be noted that, globally, unpaid care work — or the so-called care economy — is distributed very unequally.

Women perform around 70–80 percent of this work, while men’s contribution is much smaller.

The situation in Lithuania is very similar. Women spend significantly more time than men on unpaid and invisible work.

Survey participants in Lithuania, Bulgaria, Cyprus, and Greece indicated that women spend around 30–40 hours per week on care activities.

For comparison, a standard working week in Lithuania is 40 hours. This means that many women, alongside their paid employment, are doing almost another full-time job.

Men reported spending between 10 and 30 hours per week on unpaid care work.

Ieva: That really does sound like a second full-time job — and sometimes even more.

I remember that during one of the project training sessions, participants said the research findings were saddening, but not surprising.

Another interesting aspect is that men tend to assess their contribution as greater than it actually is. They are more likely to believe that care responsibilities are shared equally, or that they contribute more than women’s assessments suggest.

Women, meanwhile, more often see the real situation and acknowledge that they spend more time and effort on care work. After all, managing an entire household is not the same as driving children to school a few times a week.

Jurgita: Yes, and what is also interesting is that women often even underestimate their own contribution.

Only around 30 percent of women believe that they contribute the most to this work, while among men the figure is around 70 percent.

This means that men are more than twice as likely as women to believe they are the main performers of these tasks.

Ieva: I think this is closely linked to gender stereotypes and social norms that are deeply embedded in society.

If caring for the home is seen as a self-evident responsibility of women, we sometimes stop recognising it as work at all. It seems like something that simply has to be done.

Since we have already touched on stereotypes, I would like to ask more broadly: what factors most strongly sustain this unequal division? Why do women still spend significantly more time on household work, childcare, and other unpaid work?

Jurgita: One of the most important factors is cultural norms, stereotypical gender roles, and traditional views of women’s and men’s responsibilities.

There is still a persistent belief that men are unable, or should not be expected, to perform certain household tasks or childcare duties, while women supposedly know how to do these things naturally.

These attitudes also strongly affect the labour market. It is still assumed that a man should be the main breadwinner, and therefore should have better opportunities to earn more. A woman’s career, meanwhile, is often viewed more cautiously, because employers assume she may take maternity or parental leave.

These stereotypes and traditional roles contribute significantly to women taking on a larger share of unpaid work.

Structural barriers also play a role: the lack of flexible working opportunities, insufficient access to social and care services, or the cost of those services. When services are unavailable or too expensive, care responsibilities most often fall on women’s shoulders.

Ieva: This really reveals a very significant problem. If society believes that caring for the family is primarily a woman’s role, then the question becomes: why would we look for solutions, expand services, or create alternatives at all? It can seem as though every household already has someone who is “supposed” to take care of everything.

But the unequal sharing of care responsibilities is not only about raising children. Children grow up, yet household management remains, as does caring for older relatives, family members who are ill, or people with disabilities. We often also see that if a man’s parents need support, the caregiving responsibility is more likely to be taken on by his wife than by the son himself.

So care is not a temporary stage of life — it is a responsibility that accompanies us throughout life.

What are the consequences of this unequal division of care work?

Jurgita: The consequences for women are very significant.

First of all, it leads to lower income. Women are more likely to work shorter hours, choose lower-paid positions, or work in fields where it is easier to combine employment with care responsibilities. But career opportunities in such positions are often more limited.

All of this has long-term consequences. Lower income also means weaker social security and lower pensions in old age, because pensions depend both on the number of years worked and on income earned.

Another very important consequence is exhaustion. Women experience not only a greater physical workload, but also emotional burnout. Many women emphasise that emotional exhaustion prevents them from fully enjoying life and from maintaining the inner resources needed to care for others.

This is particularly relevant in cases where women care for people who are seriously ill or for people with disabilities. In such situations, care often becomes a constant responsibility from which it is impossible to step away. Unlike in paid employment, there is no possibility here to take annual leave or temporarily hand over one’s duties to someone else.

Ieva: The consequences are indeed very varied and painful. They affect both physical and emotional health, and they also have a very clear financial impact.

Here we can see a kind of vicious circle. Because of a greater unpaid workload, women earn less and therefore receive lower pensions in old age. With lower income, it becomes harder to pay for the services or support they may need. Then the need arises again for family members to provide care, and most often that responsibility once again falls to women.

And so the cycle repeats itself.

Since we are already talking about finances, I would also like to touch on the question of financial independence. The Women’s Issues Information Center coordinates the Specialized Comprehensive Assistance Center, which provides support to people affected by domestic violence. We see that women are often unable to leave violent relationships precisely because of financial insecurity.

So I would like to ask: is the unequal division of care work linked to women’s lower financial independence?

Jurgita: Absolutely.

Financial independence gives a person more opportunities to make decisions about their own life. It allows them to invest in their education, professional development, access necessary services, and generally have greater freedom of choice.

If state or municipal services are insufficient, financial resources make it possible to use private services. But this requires income and economic independence.

Financial independence is important not only today. Even if we are healthy and able to work at the moment, in the future we ourselves may become people who need support. If we do not have the means to care for ourselves or to access the services we need, we will be more dependent on others.

Financial independence also often becomes a decisive factor in crisis situations. It gives people the possibility to leave violent relationships, make independent decisions, and build a safer life.

Ieva: Yes, financial independence is inseparable from participation in the labour market. But combining work and care responsibilities is often very difficult.

When it comes to childcare, we see more services and support measures. But as we have already discussed, care is not only about children.

So, based on the research and practical experience, what are the biggest challenges in combining care responsibilities with work? And what measures could employers take to reduce these challenges?

Jurgita: We have already touched on some of them.

One of the most important factors is the lack of services or limited access to them — both paid and free services.

Another very important aspect is flexible work organisation. We are not talking only about the number of working hours, but also about the possibility to work remotely, choose more flexible working hours, take leave when it is genuinely needed, or adapt to unexpected care needs when they arise.

Research shows that workplaces offering flexible working conditions are viewed much more positively.

This is particularly relevant for micro-enterprises. These businesses make up the majority of the business sector both in Lithuania and across the European Union. In companies with up to nine employees, people greatly value the possibility of agreeing directly with an employer or colleagues on more flexible work arrangements.

Situations can vary greatly: a child becomes ill, a person with a disability needs assistance, or the health of an older relative suddenly deteriorates. In such cases, the ability to adapt becomes extremely important.

Ieva: During the project, we also discussed the fact that flexibility is beneficial not only for employees, but for organisations themselves.

When employees are able to balance personal life, care responsibilities, and work, their job satisfaction and loyalty to the organisation increase. For employers, this means lower staff turnover and less time and resources spent on recruitment, selection, and training new employees.

So flexibility can benefit both sides.

In Lithuania, we already have quite a few good examples. Some organisations, especially in the public sector, apply various family-friendly measures. These include, for example, children’s rooms at workplaces, a shorter working week for parents raising young children, and other forms of flexibility.

We also have a system of kindergartens and schools that helps address childcare needs.

However, when we talk about older people, relatives who are ill, or family members with disabilities, the situation looks quite different. These forms of care often remain on the margins, both in public discussions and when support measures are developed.

In your view, how could we change this situation? How can we encourage society to understand care more broadly and talk more about its different forms?

Jurgita: This is a very important question.

We must not forget that in Lithuania, as in many European countries, society is ageing. This process brings new challenges and new needs.

For many people, it is quite easy to understand the concerns related to caring for young children. But we think about the care of older people much less often, until we face it ourselves.

It often seems that an adult person can take care of themselves. But in reality, there are many situations where this is not the case. Even if a person is still physically quite strong, they may need constant support because of dementia or other health conditions.

In such cases, risks may arise both for the person themselves and for those around them, so the involvement of family members becomes necessary.

It is important to understand that crises often happen unexpectedly. Today, a person may be fully independent, and tomorrow they may need constant care.

That is why we need not only more services for older people, but also more public education.

We need to understand that people do not disappear from society when they turn seventy. They live alongside us, they are part of our communities, and very often they need support and care.

Ieva: I think public education is also needed so that we ourselves better understand that this is happening. As you said, people who reach the age of seventy — sometimes younger, sometimes older — should not simply disappear from society.

It is also important that there is no stigma or shame in saying why someone needs to leave work earlier, or why they have responsibilities that cannot be planned in advance. Everything may be fine today, but tomorrow the situation may be completely different.

That is why, in my view, flexible working conditions are one of the most important good practices for reconciling work with care responsibilities. They should function as a kind of safety net.

This does not mean that, once flexible working arrangements are introduced, all employees will suddenly start caring for their parents or visiting their grandparents every other Friday. But if something happens, a person should have the opportunity to use those arrangements and take care not only of their work, but also of the people close to them.

We talk a lot about flexibility as a good practice. But perhaps the research — not necessarily only in Lithuania, but also in other countries — highlighted other good practices, or at least promising ideas? After all, we have many small enterprises, and we ourselves also represent the NGO sector.

Jurgita: One practice that emerged is the deliberate effort to draw attention to the fact that care responsibilities for family members should be taken on not only by women, but also by men.

Some organisations carry out small awareness-raising campaigns. They remind employees that both women and men can and should use flexible working arrangements when they need to care for family members.

If women request more flexible working conditions, it is important to encourage men to use the same opportunities as well. This helps to shift established roles, because very often people simply forget that such options exist.

In Lithuania, men still make relatively little use of parental leave. That is why employers also have an important role to play — reminding employees about these opportunities, normalising them, and encouraging men to use them.

There are male managers who lead by example and, through their own behaviour, promote a different approach to the sharing of care responsibilities.

Large companies often have more resources — they can set up children’s rooms and introduce various family-friendly measures. But smaller organisations can also find ways to support their employees.

This is especially important for single parents, most often mothers, who are raising children alone. Organisations can create opportunities for them to work more flexible hours, provide additional support, and in some cases offer financial assistance.

Ieva: From what you are saying, I think one point is especially important to emphasise: flexible working conditions and family-friendly measures should not be aimed only at women.

They are measures for all people with care responsibilities. By encouraging men to use them, we can gradually change the unequal division of care work.

I would now like to move to a topic that has been very prominent in public discussions in Lithuania recently — the declining birth rate.

We often hear concern that women do not want to have children. But in my view, we too rarely ask where men are in this conversation.

Can research on the distribution of care work, together with other available data, help us understand why women are increasingly choosing not to have children, or to have fewer children?

Jurgita: This is a very complex question.

There is still relatively little research on the reasons behind declining birth rates, but it is clear that this is not happening only in Lithuania. It is characteristic of many modern societies.

There are various reasons. One is political insecurity in the region and globally. Another is the economic situation.

Young people see the lack of services, differences in women’s and men’s incomes, the gender pay gap, and the rising costs of raising and educating children. All of this influences decisions about starting a family.

Younger generations often choose to have fewer children in order to ensure a better quality of life both for themselves and for their existing or future children.

Ieva: And, of course, the unequal division of care work can also contribute to that.

If a woman sees that, after having children, most of the responsibilities will fall on her shoulders, and that her personal life, career, and rest will shrink even further, this may become one of the reasons for choosing not to become a mother, or choosing to have a smaller family.

One could say that by addressing the issue of how care responsibilities are shared, we are also contributing to broader social challenges, including the birth rate.

At the same time, while some young people are choosing not to have children or to have fewer children, the so-called “tradwife” movement is becoming increasingly visible on social media. In this movement, women are encouraged to stay at home, raise children, take care of the household, and, of course, take care of their husband. The idea is often presented as women’s empowerment or a return to “true” feminine nature.

I’ll ask briefly: how do you view this movement?

Jurgita: I think the most important thing is to be yourself and pursue your own life goals.

Of course, someone might say that, for some women, being a traditional wife is exactly what they want. If that is a conscious and freely made choice, every person has the right to live that way.

But it is important to see the broader context. Behind the tradwife movement there are often men for whom this model is very convenient — when they are taken care of, when everything is prepared, served, and organised for them.

We should also not forget that many women who promote the traditional wife role on social media often have a great deal of help. Behind the beautiful image they create, there are often other people carrying out part of the everyday work.

And once again, we need to return to financial independence. If a woman, as a “traditional wife”, earns no income or earns very little, that does not mean that financial stability will continue for her whole life.

Life circumstances can change. Relationships can end. A new family or another partnership may appear. There are many possible situations, so it is very important not to forget one’s own financial independence and to pursue one’s own goals.

Ieva: I do see many contradictions in this movement.

Many of the major content creators promoting the traditional wife role are, in fact, working women — social media is their work, and it generates income.

But as we come to the end, I would like us to imagine a little.

We have spoken about reality, about challenges, and about the importance of each person pursuing what they genuinely want. So what would Lithuania look like if care work were shared equally?

Jurgita: I think such a society would have many more happy people — women, men, children, couples, families, and partnerships.

People would be more empathetic, because those who do not take part in care work often lack understanding of other people’s experiences. Children would grow up seeing different models of behaviour.

Such a society would be emotionally healthier. Perhaps we would even have fewer suicides, more trust, and more freedom to choose.

Each person would be able to decide what to pursue professionally, how to build their life, and what responsibilities to take on. Most importantly, those choices would be genuine, rather than shaped by stereotypes or economic dependence.

Ieva: That sounds like a beautiful Lithuania.

I would add one more dream of my own, perhaps a slightly populist-sounding one: I think that in a Lithuania where care work was shared equally, there would be fewer divorces and perhaps more children would be born.

Recently, I saw a lawyer on social media share that, in her practice, divorces very often happen precisely because of the unequal division of care work and household responsibilities. From this come exhaustion, conflict, and eventually even anger towards one another.

So I would put it simply: let’s share the work more equally — perhaps then we will also separate less often.

Thank you, Jurgita, for this conversation and for helping us better understand the reality in Lithuania. It is not always bright, but that does not mean we cannot change anything. On the contrary — there is a lot of work to do, and we are already doing it.

I invite everyone to follow the Women’s Issues Information Center on Instagram and Facebook, and to find us on Spotify as well. Engage with our content, support us, comment, and — as Paulius Samoška says — share it with a friend, if you have one.

We will meet again next time and continue talking about care and how it is shared.

Goodbye!

Jurgita: Thank you, goodbye.